As a culture, we are frequently inundated with messages about what it means to be prosperous, famous, and revered. Pictures of wealthy and famous people living lavish lifestyles are often used to define success and happiness. But what actually does this obsessive quest for success and status cost? Are we paying a lot in our pursuit of happiness?
Alain de Botton makes the case in his 2004 book “The Status Anxiety” that the constant pressure to succeed and achieve status can cause a profound sense of anxiety and unhappiness. There may not be much room in our lives for anything else owing to the pressure to succeed. We lose sight of what is truly important, such as our relationships, our health, and our happiness, as we become so consumed with achieving status.
Additionally, comparing oneself to others all the time can cause low self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy. We constantly fall short when evaluating ourselves against those around us, believing that we will never be adequate. This can cause feelings of helplessness and despair. It may even hasten the onset of mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.
The Never-ending Cycle of Need and Dissatisfaction
Status anxiety also causes us to constantly strive for more and more, never feeling content with what we already have. As the bar is constantly raised, this leads to a cycle of chasing after goals that are impossible to achieve. This develops a never-ending cycle of need, which can cause dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
In “The Corrosion of Character,” Richard Sennett argues that the changing economy and workplace culture have resulted in a loss of community and tradition. This has lead to isolation and character deterioration. The rise of flexible work, the decline of long-term employment, and the emphasis on individual achievement have all contributed to a decline in social connections and a sense of purpose.
The Loss of Authentic Communities and Social Ties
Because of the decline of authentic communities and social ties, people now feel isolated and disconnected. The constant pressure to adapt to new, ever-changing, and challenging work environments has resulted in a loss of identity and a sense of aimlessness. This can be especially harmful for those who are having difficulty finding work because they may feel hopeless and unworthy.
Furthermore, as a result of the emphasis on individual success and achievement, traditional values and virtues such as loyalty, duty, and the common good have become less prevalent. Individualism has resulted in a focus on short-term gains. This has led to a disregard for the long-term well-being of institutions, communities, and society as a whole.
The Impact of Economic deterioration on character in Pakistan
Character deterioration has a social and personal impact on people. The dissolution of traditional communities and social ties has reduced trust and cooperation, altering civic engagement and the provision of public goods. A deteriorating economy in a country like Pakistan does not help the cause.
Berne Brown (2010) makes the case that accepting vulnerability and imperfection can result in a more fulfilling life in her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection”. We face pressure from society to be flawless, to always appear to have our lives together, and to never admit to having any weaknesses. However, this need to be flawless can be very detrimental, resulting in low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Additionally, because we are too afraid to be ourselves around others, it may make it difficult for us to develop genuine relationships.
The Connection between Authenticity and Genuine Relationships
Embracing vulnerability and imperfection allows us to be honest with ourselves and with others. It allows us to be authentic and true to who we are, rather than constantly putting on a façade. When we are able to be vulnerable, we open ourselves up to true connection and intimacy with others. We also give others permission to do the same, creating a deeper sense of community and support.
Furthermore, accepting and loving ourselves for who we are allows us to accept and love our flaws. It enables us to let go of the constant pressure to be perfect and instead focus on our own happiness and self-improvement. As we are able to let go of the unrealistic expectations placed on us, this shift in perspective can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.
The Release from the Pressure to be Perfect
The pressure to achieve status and success can have a negative impact on our mental and emotional health. It is critical to recognize the true cost of the pursuit of success and status. True happiness and fulfilment doesn’t come from wealth or validation. Instead, we must concentrate on what is truly important in life, such as our authentic relationships, health, and happiness.
Changes in the economy and work culture have resulted in a loss of community and tradition. This has resulted in isolation and character deterioration. By recognizing the negative effects of these changes on individuals and communities, working to rebuild social connections and re-establishing a sense of community and tradition can we hope to restore individuals’ and society’s sense of purpose and identity.
Finally, accepting vulnerability and imperfection can be extremely liberating and empowering. Authentic relating enables us to be true to ourselves, form deeper connections with others, and focus on our own personal development and self-improvement. It is critical to recognize the negative effects of societal pressure to be perfect and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, imperfect, and human. It is the only way to live a truly meaningful and authentic life.
You can find the books mentioned above here:
- Status Anxiety by Alain De Botton
- The Corrosion of Character by Richard Sennett
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown